So the weekend before Thanksgiving, 2008, we gathered at our friend Marsha's house for a deliciously prepared spaghetti dinner, complete with some NFL football game on the telly, lots of chatter and laughter, enough food to feed a third world country, or at the very least our brood, and a lot of sharing of memories. It was the first time most of us had gathered together since her funeral, and it was theraputic to say the least. After dinner was over and the guys settled into another room, we girls sat around in a circle and began going through storage bins of sweaters, dresses, capris, shoes and handbags, sharing heartfelt stories of "remember when she wore this sweater to Sam's Club and she got into a pissing match with some ya-hoo that took her parking space!" and "Holy crap! She wore this dress on her trip to Colorado with Stephen for the military ball!"
We took turns sharing and laughing- trying on shoes and pants. There were a few tears through the belly laughs, a couple of hugs. I believe the half a loaf of garlic bread that I had engulfed prior to our starting had made its way to my feet because as I came to her shoe collection, I noticed some of them fitting a big snuggly, but I staked my claim to a few pair anyways, figuring a good diaretic and jog around the block might allow me the pleasure of avoiding having to buy new ones myself.
Fast forward to present day life.
Our Relay for Life walk was this past Friday at the high school, and as not to disappoint, Mother Nature found a way to cast her furry- thunderstorms and near record breaking cold spells reared their ugly heads about 3 hours into the walk, but we were able to do some earlier in the evening. Preparing for the walk this year seemed like a complete blur to me- I really didn't do much of anything other than collect my family's money for the walk and serve a few BBQ sandwiches at our Quarter Auction. I looked around at all of the soon to be lit luminaries and realized that I had forgotten to buy them this year. Surely there would be one for Jody- I mean really, the last couple of years she had at least a couple! But as we made our way around the track, my eyes never saw her name. I remember getting a little pit in my stomach thinking to myself "you have got to be KIDDING me!?"
I never uttered a word, but I felt bad. I felt like maybe she had been forgotten, if only for this event. This is the freakin Relay for Life for Cancer and she didn't have a luminary in her honor? And it was about this time that I happened to look down.
My shoes.
Her shoes.
That clean, perfectly white pair of size 9 Keds that I found at the bottom of a storage bin that November afternoon in 2008 were now stretched out, grass stained...
Worn.
Her shoes have taken me places.
They've journeyed with me through my year long Weight Watchers endevour- walking and running through muddy reserve trails, down rock covered paths. They protected me through my first bouts of "jogging" (used loosley, but yea, I can actually jog a little without keeling over), and I do believe at times I can hear her laughter, especially when my little jogs would break into Olympic sprints upon St. D mentioning that he "thought he saw a snake under that log you just passed"
They mow my lawn and plant my garden.
They have accompanied me to quick trips to the grocery store, Sunday morning PSR drives, and "Hey, can you go to CVS cus we're outta milk" runs.
The soles are worn, and there a little pieces starting to break off inside, but they are the most comfortable filthy shoes I've ever owned.
I realized that the luminary wasn't any match to where she has accompanied me.
How fitting that the luminaries couldn't really be lit due to the rain, but my shoes stayed on my feet until we got home and I was ready for sleep.
She was there. She is always
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