I remember the first time I happened upon the 1987 "Sci-Fi thriller" that Paul Michael Glaser directed titled "The Running Man". This was no where NEAR the genre of film that I found appealing, but at the time was still dating St. D, and tried to appeal to his movie watching style in exchange for him having to sit through "chick flicks" with me. (Ok, wait one mother effing second here.... "chick flicks" have never been my "thang", so I sat through all of that bullshit in exchange for begging him to take me to see "Die Hard" and "Silence of the Lambs"... well fuck me and call me Katie... moving on....)
Nevertheless, I remember watching with a hint of admiration for such an exaggerated sense of the macabre. Who would have thunk it- convicted criminals with a last shot of redemption for freedom- if they could punch, claw, and kick in the nuts any and all unspeakable obsticles, human or indifferent. Naturally it was all a gimick for a "reality" (perish the thought) TV program that would allow the world's human garbage to perish in front of our very eyes, all the while enjoying the sinful bounty that is wagering and gambling. The only way that the story line was going to relish any resemblence of a "hero" was to show the audience, in advance, that the next group of "contestants" were completely innocent of any wrong doing, thereby allowing us the guilt-free privledge of rooting the "Schwarz" and his possee on through Richard Dawson and fictitious media station ICS's relentless obsticle course of death, doom, and high ratings.
As frightening and ridiculous as it seemed just a mere 24 years ago, think ahead to well.. NOW. Over the last few years, I often find myself daydreaming about Mr. Glaser and "The Running Man", and how absolutely CLOSE we are to achieving such a horrific epiphany. I think it first began with such game shows as "Fear Factor"- think about it. What began as most likely a way to have folks face their fears, all in the name of "correcting some glitch in their inner psyche" for big cash prizes, became a "how disgusting and gross can we make this for ratings?" I remember someone on the show being deathly afraid of snakes (I'm with ya brother), only to have to lay in a glass terrarium, STRAPPED down, and have a plethy of boa constrictors and pythons dumped on him because, according to the show archives, "We figured they would be LEAST likely to bite..." Stooping to alltime "lows" were when contestants were made to eat live maggots without throwing up- I personally can't think of too many folks that ARENT afraid of doing that shit, so really, what was the point? (Oh yea... the "grossology factor"... thus a more suitable name for this dipshit concept of a show).
I never watched this show, yet how did I know about these particular "stunts"? Because it was plastered on entertainment shows and the internet for all the world to see, whether they wanted to or not.
We have become a society of goldfish observers, all the while hoping one day WE can be the guppy floating around the shit filled bowl- as long as the price is right &/or we can accomplish our 15 minutes. Dignity and pride fall by the wayside in place of "fame" and wealth. We really dont give a shit who gets hurt in the process, and actually encourage violence or misfortune for better ratings.
Yet why do we, the fishtank observers, keep watching? Let's face it, if we didn't "tune in", ratings would falter. Advertising dollars would shrink, and TV stations would have no choice but to drop you like a bad habit in search of "another direction". I'll tell you why we watch- because we all (myself included) get off on the idea of watching people act like more of an idiot than we think we may be. We really don't care that the Heidi Montages and Spencer Pratt's of the world become rich (I refuse to utter the word "famous") as long as we can point, laugh and feel just a SMIDGE better about ourselves in the long run. The only "good" to come of such falicies is the new genre of "point and laugh" shows such as "The Soup" and "Tosh.0"- and yet, even with such ratings grabbers MAKING FUN OF YOU ON NATIONAL TV, people still come back, hoping for the quick buck or endorsement deal. ("Hey... I was on TV last night... yea, I know it was Daniel Tosh making fun of me for being a complete dipshit and asshole, but hey.. I WAS ON TV LAST NIGHT!)
But just like the captivating story born of Stephen King and brought to life by Mr. Glaser over two decades ago, the comparisons are eerily familiar. Whereas The Running Man's concept was to "offer freedom" to unsuspecting criminals in exchange for a "good show", "reality" television and game shows of today offer any dipshit that is willing to look like a horses ass on the boob tube in exchange for "fame and fortune". It's watchable because these morons KNOW what they are getting into, yet don't give two shakes of their own piss (would even drink it if it got em to the bonus round) about looking like a fool, as long as their friends and family can TVO the virtual stripping of any and all pride and dignity. Every last one of them whores to fame and fortune and, with any LUCK, will spiral into a life of destitution and sustance abuse, only to be cannanized if they are fortunate enough to "make it back up the ladder" to a life that somewhat resembles civility.
But even more sad are those that really dont ASK for the whore but just accidently back into it. Nothing speaks truer than the infamous "man with the golden voice" Ted Williams. I remember last week thinking to myself how incredibly cool his story was- a homeless man, self-admitted former drug addict and alcoholic, panhandling on the street corners of Columbus OH, only to be "discovered" by a Columbus Dispatch videographer for his incredibly smooth "radio" voice. It actually made me feel "warm and fuzzy" and figured it was a nice way to start off a new year (prior to the horror that was the Arizona shooting spree). "How great that this God-given talent might be his answer to a second chance in life!" But we as Americans won't allow you to just be a local "human interest" story then fade into hopeful glory- NOOOOO! Our job as the fishtank attendants is to exploit your "rainbow and unicorn" story for everything we can squeeze out of it. Two major networks fought for an entire day as to who had the rights to the "live meeting" between Mr. Williams and his aging mother and made sure that we took this self-proclaimed addict and put as much of a chokehold on his now whirlwind life as possible. I'm not an addict and even I wanted a drink and handful of pills watching this all unfold for him. In one of his first interviews, he mentioned that it was very difficult to "stay clean" with all of this new-found fame, and was working with a therapist as to how to "cope". Bring in the half a dozen or more children that he supposedly abandoned for a life of booze, a suspected criminal past, and an altercation that apparently took a physical turn between he and one of his grown daughters, he has, in a matter of a week or so, become a lab experiement on his way to rehab. I would imagine that E! is already in the works of making "Ted Williams, the E! True Hollywood Story" and now the fish observers are all sitting around to see "what's next"- but only until someone or something new comes along.
We thrive on feel good.
We thrive even more on downward spirals.
We get off on "come back" stories.
We enjoy destruction of others, as long as we don't have to blame ourselves.
I'm waiting for the day that VH1, Fx channel, Spike TV, or most likely Fox turns to The Running Man concept. Then we can all sit around and play judge and jury for someone elses own plunge into annihilation.
Don't we already?
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